The Truth about Assisted Living: Or Make Other Arrangements, Cause Im Not Going!
What We Don't Know -- But Should -- About Assisted Living Facilities
Your Name:. Your Last Name:. Send Email Cancel. Unfortunately, wisdom isn't the only thing that aging brings. It also brings challenges that can sometimes make staying in a cherished home difficult, if not impossible. When a person faces these challenges, knowing where they need to live is not easy to decipher. Read 13 Comments. Related Articles. Caregivers Asked. On average, a resident receives about 12 minutes of nursing care and about 2 hours of personal care a day.
Facilities may have very different rules about when they can evict a resident. Some will try to keep someone as long as possible. Others will discharge them once their staff can no longer provide a safe level of care. Some are required by state law to discharge someone who is not mobile enough to escape a fire or other emergency. What does all that mean?
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And how to you find a balance between keeping someone safe and allowing them to remain in a home where they feel comfortable? While the federal government operates a website to allow consumers to compare nursing homes and home health agencies using a range of safety metrics, it operates no such service for residential care. And state information is often less-than-transparent or up-to-date. In fact, there is no agreement even on what assisted living is.
10 Things Assisted-Living Homes Won't Tell You
It can mean everything from a bed campus operated by a national chain to a bed small group home or even 2 people living in the personal residence of a retired nurse. Moving anticipation anxiety can cause extreme negative feelings that may escalate into extreme behaviors. By not giving her too much advance notice you will promote a calmer state of mind for the transition.
Some homes provide opportunities for socialization, such as dinner parties or day center activities, prior to residency. These are great ways of initiating the adaptation process without being too obvious about the move itself.
However, there may be a delicate balance to how often you should visit throughout this period; talk to the staff to discern the best days or times. You may dread these because they seem to be a judgment about the decision. When your loved one expresses dissatisfaction with something, write the comment down.
Keep these comments in the proper perspective: they are an opportunity for you to help make the situation better for your loved one. A lot of resolve is required to not bend or waiver in the decision. Families often know the time has come for their loved one to live in a supervised, specialized community. However, staying true to this decision can be challenging.
Try to be patient and point out the advantages of the nursing home, even if a room must be shared. Note the increased medical care, the added attention of CNAs and the immediate attention if someone falls. It has been shown to decrease stress and anxiety. It might help to bring a small CD player and some of their favorite music on CDs when they move. Talk with the staff to see if they can use it when your loved one is anxious. Then you stretch it out to two weeks, then three and eventually they will probably adjust to being there full time. Loved ones who are significantly impaired may even forget they were supposed to go back home.
To do this, you will have to talk to the chef and kitchen staff to find out whether they can accommodate your request. You or other friends and family should join your loved one for at least one meal on the first day, and if you can stay for more, so much the better. The decision for how to address the move is purely dependent on the scenario you feel your loved one would respond to best.
The main point is for families to reassure their loved ones that they will be nearby and continue to see them which can limit any associated anxiety. Give them time to get involved in programs and make some friends. Let them get used to their new home at their own pace. If you visit too soon, according to the article, they may ask you to take them back home with you, which can make it harder for them to adapt.
50 Tips on Transitioning a Loved One to Memory, Dementia, or Alzheimer's Care
Try talking to staff instead to check in with your loved one. After the first week, try visiting a little at a time, and once your loved one is used to their community, you can begin making visits regularly. Give him a little time to adjust to his new home before you take him on an outing. People with dementia often have times of day when they are typically at their best; if you can, schedule the move during this time frame in order to minimize stress. They will tell you they are lonely.
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They will ask to go home. These moments are heart wrenching but knowing that they are normal and that they will pass, can help get you through them.
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A calm entrance will be less alarming to an elder with dementia. If you are constantly fretting and seem anxious, they likely will too.
Point out all of the positives of their new community and the amenities that this move means they will get to enjoy. Encourage your loved one to be excited about the transition. Even if your loved one has lived at home alone for years, and even if they will now be surrounded by many people, they may still be afraid of being lonely. Really, they are afraid of isolation from their family members. Respite stays are often a very successful way to ease the transition.
Not only your loved one but sometimes even your close friends and family members will criticize your decision. This harsh criticism may force you to wonder whether or not you have made the right decision. Because of their dementia, they may bring up the same concerns or fears over and over. Let the person voice their concerns, and be understanding in your replies, i.
Your loved one may appear depressed, anxious, hostile, or withdrawn.